• 6 Signs You’re in Love With a Narcissist – From an LGBTQ Therapist

    Two boys looking at the sky

    Narcissism involves an intense preoccupation with oneself to the point where a person disregards the needs of those in their vicinity. People with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) believe they are superior and exceptional compared to others. A narcissist needs and seeks admiration from others.

    Many people understandably fall in love with narcissists as they are often extremely charming, bright, and attractive. Around them, we feel excited and more alive. Initially, a narcissist engages in “love bombing,” a manipulation technique that involves overwhelming a person with romantic gestures such as giving them gifts and complimenting and texting them. However, as time passes, it becomes evident that their behavior is motivated solely by self-interest.

    A narcissist tries to control their partner by withholding affection and attention. As your relationship with a narcissistic partner progress, you start observing shades of their personality you never noticed before. You also notice sudden behavioral shifts that can leave you perplexed.

    This revelation may come as a shock since you initially had no inkling that the charming and charismatic person you fell in love with is a narcissist. These feelings can contribute to relationship toxicity and the relationship may die a slowly, unable to be helped by Gay Couples Counseling in NYC.

    Here are some signs you are in a relationship with a narcissist.

    They Are a Conversation Hog

    A narcissist often inflates their achievements to be recognized as superior to others. Narcissists have a penchant for incessantly discussing their accomplishments and achievements. Their motivation for engaging in such behavior stems from their belief that they are superior and more intelligent than everyone else. Narcissists are too busy talking about themselves to listen to others.

    So, if your partner cannot stop talking about themselves or seems disinterested whenever you have a conversation with them, you have a solid reason to believe they are a narcissist. Try answering these questions: When you talk about yourself, do they inquire further and show genuine interest in keeping the conversation flowing? Or do they shift the focus of the conversation back to themselves?

    They Lack Empathy

    People with NPD lack empathy, which refers to the incapacity to understand or share the emotions experienced by another person. Narcissists are incapable of making people feel acknowledged, validated, understood, or accepted.

    Does your partner show concern when you’ve had a bad day at work, a disagreement with your best friend, or a conflict with your parents? Or do they become disinterested when you share your feelings of anger and sadness?

    The inability to empathize, or even sympathize, is a common reason why many, if not all, relationships of people with NPD eventually crumble, regardless of whether they are romantic or not.

    They Constantly Gaslight You

    Gaslighting is a manipulative and emotionally abusive tactic, which is commonly associated with narcissism. Individuals with NPD may blatantly lie, falsely accuse others, twist the truth, and use other methods to distort reality.

    A narcissist uses gaslighting techniques to make their partner believe that certain events never occurred or that their actions were in response to something their partner did or said first.

    They do this to instill self-doubt in others so they can assert their superiority. Narcissists want people, especially their partners, to idolize them, and often resort to manipulation tactics to trick them into believing their lies.

    If you belong to the LGBTQ community and have reasons to believe your partner is a narcissist, consider seeking professional help. Convince your partner to give gay couples counseling in NYC a try; it can help you two better understand the dynamics of your relationship and cultivate self-awareness.

    They Think They’re Always Right, and Never Apologize

    Individuals with NPD exhibit arrogance and are haughty. They have an air of superiority about themselves. This is why arguing with a narcissist may seem pointless. Attempting to debate or compromise with a narcissist is futile since they firmly believe they are always right. You might be dating a narcissist if you feel that your partner:

    • Doesn’t listen to you.
    • Fails to understand your perspective.
    • Avoids taking responsibility for their actions.
    • Never makes an effort to find common ground or compromise.

    They Pick On You Regularly

    Does your partner criticize you regularly for your choices? Initially, it may seem like harmless teasing, but it eventually turns into mean-spirited behavior. Suddenly, everything from your clothes and food choices to your social circle and entertainment preferences becomes a point of contention for them. Antagonism and hostility are widely recognized traits of people with NPD.

    A narcissist will demean you, resort to name-calling, hit you with insulting one-liners, make jokes that are far from humorous, and try every other rule in the book to lower your self-esteem so they can feel powerful. Responding to their remarks may only motivate them to continue engaging in the behavior, as narcissists love it when people react. They get a sense of satisfaction knowing they can affect other people’s emotional and mental states.

    They Ignore Your Needs

    You know you are in a relationship with a narcissist if they focus solely on their own needs and how things impact them, disregarding your feelings and emotional needs. A narcissist only thinks about themselves before making a decision that can impact them and their partner. They make little to no effort to show their partner they care and rarely try to strengthen their relationship.

    Here are some signs your partner is self-centered.

    • They desire to have sex on their terms but may not be as receptive when you want it.
    • They expect you to clean up after them.
    • They often take credit for your efforts and hard work.
    • They favor one child over others in the family, especially if they believe doing so makes them look good.

    Cooper Mental Health Counseling is a reputable counseling center in NYC. Our counselors have years of experience helping people struggling with different mental disorders get their mental health back on track. To consult a counselor, call (347) 244-7873.


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