All You Wanted to Learn About Codependent Relationships

In a codependent relationship, one person lacks self-sufficiency and seeks the other person’s feedback to determine their identity or self-worth. When the person is not appreciated, they feel rejected or worthless and may experience resentment.

Some people with a codependent personality feel the need to be a caregiver to the people around them, regardless of whether they ask for help. Any relationship can be codependent, including familial relationships, friendships, and romantic relationships. Codependency can be passed from one generation to another and is best tackled with the help of couples counseling near you.

Is Codependency a Mental Disorder?

Codependency is a relationship style, not a mental disorder. In a codependent relationship, one person takes the role of a people pleaser, while the other person maintains some impairment in order to justify the special attention that they receive. An impairment can be an addiction, unemployment, or poor health. The codependent person justifies the other person’s actions and supports them in every possible way when the weakness manifests.

Do Women Tend to be More Codependent Than Men?

Not necessarily. Codependency is determined by relationship history, not gender. Whether a person in a relationship will become a people pleaser depends on the amount of time they spend with their partner.

Is Codependency More Prevalent in Certain Age Groups Than Others?

No. People of different age groups can have codependent personalities. In many cases, codependency can be traced back to childhood. It develops when a person is raised by overprotective or under protective parents.

Whether the codependent person is a child or an adult, they exhibit the same behavioral patterns. They continuously look for ways to help people around them, even when help is not required. The effect of appreciation that they receive for their efforts is short-lived and they start feeling inadequate again.

Signs of Codependency

• Fear of abandonment – a deep-seated fear that the other person will leave you.

• You feel the urge to give attention to the other person and cannot imagine life without them. You may feel that the person is so important to you that you must hide your real thoughts and opinions in order to be in their good books.
• You do not know what you really like and dislike and do not make any effort to connect with your inner self. Instead, you focus only on the things that matter to the other person.
• You spend so much time with the person that you are unable to make time for your other relationships.
• You have low self-esteem. You doubt your decision-making abilities and are dependent on the other person to make decisions for you.

After some time in a codependent relationship, you may start to feel resentful toward the person. This is the biggest sign that you are the codependent person in the relationship.

Cooper Mental Health Counseling is an established counseling center in Manhattan. We use different types of therapies designed to help codependent people change their behavior. To make an appointment with one of our couples psychologists in Manhattan, call (347) 244-7873.